Diary of a misEducated Black Man


Texico loves Futbol, Martin Tyler, and DUI’s before noon…oh and the Celts will win tonight

I’ve been told that I’ve been treating my blog like a baby locked in a car for three hours in triple digit heat while mama goes to get her hair did.  So with that in mind, I’m here to roll the windows down just a bit for my poor blog.  Not funny I know, because people actually DO leave their kids in the car all the time.  Like here during a domestic dispute, and here while the parents smoked meth, and here while the babysitter got a facial, and here while the parents hit up the casino, and even here while mom got her drank on at a local watering hole.

But!  This is not a PSA, calling for better parenting, but, then again maybe it should be.  As usual it is a random rant of ridiculous Rabelaisian rubbish, radicated in rooster recrement.  Not sure that makes sense, but alliteration is fun.  On to the goods…amazing week in sports!

The World Cup has finally begun. Can somebody please inform the American populace.  No seriously, somebody let them know.  The Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers AKA Comrade Obama needs to implement federal legislation, mandating that people tune into at least one game. You have to think, our bredren from the land of fish and chips, have found futbol to be so great that, as that stupid Hyundai commercial keeps reminding me, people name their children after entire national teams!

So, the goods so far.  Very few goals.  A huge gaffe by England keeper Robert Greene. Four goals by Germany.  Argentina looks potentially very scary.  Group G looks absolutely disgustingly difficult, with Brazil barely eeking out a win versus lowly N. Korea.  With the Ronaldo led Portuguese team and an Ivory Coast team thats dangerous as anybody in the tourney, this years Cup is shaping up to be legendary.

How bout that German team?  Jeez, a bunch of young bucks and two wiley vets have been the scariest team in the tournament.  They created opportunity after opportunity against the Socceroos.  I was highly impressed with them and speechless in regards to the Aussies poor performance.  My hat goes off to Miroslav Klose, who always seems to show up when wearing that Deutschland uniform.  Where was he during the club season?  I bet Bayern Munich fans are thinking the same thing.

Miroslav Klose Germany

But what about the damn ball?  If Mike Tirico brings up that gosh darn ball one mo gin…  Look, they complain about the ball every year.  It sucks, got it.  Now play.  Gotta say though, there was not a better moment than seeing the Red Coat Rob Greene crawling trying to keep that Clint Dempsey effort out of goal.  Awesome stuff.

This is a very low scoring tournament which I know is really turning off the casual fan, which is a nightmare for ESPN.  Too bad that the only casual fans live in the US.  Everyone else in the world is going bananas.  Trust I know.  I live in El Paso, Texico.  The bars opened up at 6am.  People were getting DUIs before noon.  I drove past the border and saw ten guys in the back of a pickup waving AKs and Mexican flags.  Its beyond bananas.

I’m in heaven.  Its like that dream I had when Hershey Park was actually made of Hershey’s.  I was very disappointed when I actually went there.  Heartbroken even.  So, I’ve decided that since I’d literally have to smack a Colonel in his face to get fired from the Army, that I’d just not go to work for a while and watch the Cup.  I mean hey, I’m a friggin Veteran, I deserve to watch the darn Cup.  BTW, if you ever wondered what warfighters do when they’re not at war, NOTHING!  So I’m watching the doggone World Cup!

Biggest observation of the WC thus far, is sadly these ridiculous vuvuzela things.  Ugh, I have never been more annoyed with any sound in the world.  Sorry Dumb and Dumber, move over.  Jeez its like living in hornets nest.  I have to mute the darn TV, which really bothers me because half the fun of watching soccer is Martin Tyler’s amazing commentating.  He has a way of saying really mean things that come across like compliments.  Must be the accent.

So now that I’ve lost my entire American readership, lets talk about a ball you all know all to well.  The Celtics are going to win tonight and thats that.  I’m out.  Want some analysis, go watch the worldwide leader!

…check please…

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Kevin GarNOTT…shout out to Skip Bayless

So yesterday, as I’m sitting and watching the game as the majority of sports fans were, I noticed that there was something different about the Celtics.  Something was missing.  Almost as if a 7 Ft, shot blocking, dark skinned defensive menace named Kevin Garnett was not on the court.  It looked as if the Celtics decided to make it fair for the Lakers and play four on five.  The once proud and intimidating KG  has turned into the invisible man.  As Ray rained threes in the first half and Rondo carried the team in the second, KG was a nonfactor.

This guy used to be my favorite player in the league.  He could handle the rock like a guard, shoot the three on occasion, and play lights out D.  KG was the man.

Pure and simple, he was special.  Now as I sit and watch him, I can’t even say I see a shell of his oldself.  Its more like the exoskeleton of a Cicada, laying motionless, lifeless, and ready to be carried away by the wind.  As I’m watching the game last night, I’m hoping for KG to foul out, just so I don’t have to watch the guy anymore.  Its hard to look at.  The guy refuses to dribble.  He refuses to make a move.  He refuses to dunk.  He refuses to score.  He shoots this loose booty 18 footer everytime he gets the rock.  The dude’s 7ft tall.  Dunk the darn ball.

Don’t get me wrong KG still has the fire, but he doesn’t have the game anymore.  He’s 34 now and it shows, every game, it shows.  From the 98-99 season til the 06-07 season, Garnett was a 20-10 ball player.  His numbers dipped  a bit his first year in Boston, expectedly so, as he was no longer THE guy.  They only dipped to 18 and 9 though.  Not terrible by a long shot.  However, last season they dipped to 15 and 8.  This season 14 and 7. During this years finals, how about 11 and 4!!

This is a guy who only recently fell below 20 ppg for his career.  This is a guy who in my opinion was the best player in the league for the early part of this century.  He’s now an 11 and 4 guy.  I’m sorry KG, but its over.  If you’re hurt please say so.  Because this is just embarrasing.  I can’t watch you anymore.  I’d rather see Sheed or Big Baby down the strecth.  You and Sheldon Williams alternate between who’s the worst big man in the series.  KG mind as well be playing for the Lakers.

KG isn’t even one of the top 15 players in the series anymore.  I’ve got him behind, Nate Robinson, Shannon Brown, Sheed, Big Baby, and Ron Artest.  KG is no longer an elite player, I get that.  But he’s not even a good player anymore.  And the numbers prove it.

Doc, don’t bench KG because he’s your emotional leader, got it.  But, please Doc, limit the guys minutes to under 20 a game.  Big Baby and Sheed are both giving you better minutes.  And for Lord’s sake, don’t play Rondo the whole 24 in the first half when you’ve got Nate on the bench.  Jeez, put the stud in the game and give Rondo a breather.  Doc’s lucky Rondo is such a physical freak and didn’t tire to bad down the stretch.

Personally, I still do not see the Celtics winning this thing.  The main reason is Kobe Bean Bryant.  Check it out.  Kobe had a rough game, couple poor foul calls, and he played without his normal aggression.  The Lakers bigs absolutely dominated the Celtics bigs.  Ray Allen will not drop more than 5 threes in anyother game this series, they shut that mess down second half.  Boston plays a man down anytime KG’s on the court.  Ron Artest has absolutely neutralized Paul Pierce.  Make that two men down.  Rondo’s not gonna hit open jumpers every night.  The Lakers are just better in everyway.  They’ve got the best player in the game and that doesn’t bode well for the Celtics.  Paul Pierce might be right, the series might not come back to LA, because the Lakers may win three straight in Boston.  It is called Bean Town right.  As in Kobe Bean Bryant.



Queensbridge in the building
May 28, 2010, 3:52 pm
Filed under: Lifestyle, Politics, Race, Sports | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I friggin love Ron Artest. He is the weirdest friggin guy. He’s so volatile, so eccentric, so unpredictable that he just makes for awesome TV. I love the guy. Here’s another great Artest moment from last night. Fast forward to the 1:10 mark.

This guy is awesome. You see how uncomfortable Sager was? Great stuff.

Anyway, congratulations to the Lakers, great game and even better ending. Great hustle play by Ron.

…check please…