Diary of a misEducated Black Man


Venus booty, NBA penis, and Tennis boobs

Allow me to be the first to remove the foot from my mouth and pick my face off of the ground.  If my life depended on my NBA Playoff prognosticating ability, I would be one dead son of a gun.  Lots of big stories…

…The Magic, ohhh the Magic.  I really hope they aren’t teasing us.  I may have a new favorite player in Jameer Nelson.  That kid is a true fighter.  he just looks like a guy who’s come out on the right side of a few scraps in his life time.  With him as the leader of that soft Magic bunch, he may be just tough enough to get them another victory.  I don’t know about the Finals though.  Jameer is like that chocolate syrup that hardens when you pour it on ice cream.  He’s tough enough to carry his guys now but sooner or later someone’s gonna stick a spoon through him….

…The Suns, ohhh the Suns.  The emergence of the Suns frontcourt as a dominant force bodes extremely well for a team looking to make it to their first NBA Finals since 1993.  I like this series a lot.  Its Kobe and his disgust for the Lakers defensive effort, against what seems to be a ragtag bunch of speedy gunslingers with wildly different personalities.  Its a good dramatic series.  I still see the Lakers pulling it out because when it gets down to it, always bet with the superstar, especially if his name is Bean Bryant….

…Wade announces that he will discuss his future home with Joe Johnson and Lebron James before deciding what team to sign with.  This is a very good thing for the NBA.  Can anyone say 2010 Dream Team…

…Two thoughts from last nights Magic game.  The first, did you see that friggin knockout elbow from Dwight Howard???  At first it didn’t even look like he came down on Baby Davis that hard.  But once I saw Davis wobbling, falling into Joey Crawford’s arms, disoriented and unable to stand, I realized that this dude is in La La land.  Could you imagine if that Dwight cocked back and punched someone on purpose.  Jeez, it be lights out for the year.  You could wake me up in 2030 when the Orioles when the pennant….

…Second, whenever anybody(David Stern) says to me that the NBA is a clean league, as is not corrupted by gambling cheats, I point to instances like yesterday.  Kendrick Perkins gets booted out of the game, for no reason.  He did the right thing in everyway and still gets tossed.  Someone’s got money on that game.  Tossing Perkins out totally changes the make up of the Celtics.  Perkins is a guy that doesn’t smile, doesn’t laugh, he just works and plays defense, better and harder than any of the Celtics big men.  I smell something fishy.  Did Tim Donaghy make an appearance last night?…stay tuned to that one….

…Enough basketball.  Did anyone see Venus’s ASS all over the screen at the French Open.  This one’s great.  Not sure where I stand on it exactly.  I love booty, but its a little classless to have it hanging out a sporting event.

Apparently its the cool thing to do now for athletes to show off there junk on the internet.  Most recently Tampa Bay Rays baller Evan Longoria.  A few months backs Spurs guard George Hill.  Before that Dorrell Wright, Greg Oden, and even Grady Sizemore. Grady Sizemore is an awesome porno name if Grady wants a second career. Thats insane.  Holy crap guys, the only people who know who you are, are men, and we have junk of our own.  Stop posting pictures of your junk on the internet.  Atleast make a sex tape and get paid for it….

..Boobs…

…This post took a turn for the worse.  We got Venus booty, NBA penis, and Tennis boobs.  Awesome work on my behalf.  I do it for you guys.  Gotta go to work.

…check please…

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Magic win in Boston, for real??

Now that was unexpected.  The Magic showed some friggin heart.  Well, atleast one player on there team did.  My buddy Bill Simmons wrote an article a little while ago about urgency.

“The third is faux urgency — when a team’s players don’t trust each other or their coach and don’t have the right leadership in place, but they’re desperately pressing to make a bad situation work anyway.  That’s the worst kind of urgency.  By the way, I have no idea whether Orlando has real urgency or faux urgency. I’m leaning toward the latter. Stay tuned.”

Bill wrote this over a week ago, with the Magic in the midst of a eight game playoff win streak mind you, but, Bill I stayed tune.  Although the Magic won last night on the Celtics home floor, I still don’t see the real urgency in the eyes of the players on that team.  Last night Jeff Van Gundy noted that Danny Ferry had assembled a team full of winners for the Celtics.  As you look at the Celtics player by player, you could make an outstanding argument that each player on that team wants to win more than the other one.

With the Magic its easy, Jameer Nelson.  He’s the only one with that Philly scrap in him.

Rashard Lewis, soft.  Dwight Howard, not soft, but apathetic.  J.J. Reddick, might be the second toughest guy on the team which is a shame because he’s a jumpshooting two guard.  Matt Barnes, he’s got a little scrap, but lacks the ability to make a difference.  Vince Carter, I’m so disgusted with my former idol I won’t even talk about him.  Who else?  We can go down the roster.

They’re all soft or apathetic.  They don’t have real urgency.

Now I know you’re thinking, did I even watch the game last night?  They won right?  They won because Paul Pierce missed two good looks from three end, the Celts got tired, and a desperation heave by Baby Davis was the cherry on top.  But that was a team out there that wanted to win.

Jameer Nelson absolutely willed his team to victory.  He slashed to the basket, he hit big shots down the stretch, and he energized his team.  He was the only Magic with real urgency last night.  Even when Dwight’s scoring 30 plus and bringing down 15 plus boards he just doesn’t look into it to me.  Even his post game interview lacks passion and authority.

They need to sprinkle a little Kobe fire powder on the Magic if they even want to consider winning this thing.

With that said, this series is over next game.  The Celtics are just to passionate about winning.

…check please…