Filed under: Lifestyle, Politics, Race, Sports | Tags: Airborne, army, ass, cerasport, football, Lebron, ranger, Rap, School, Tiger Woods
So Jump School is not nearly as exciting as it seems. In fact much like most Army schools that sound cool, the Army has the innate ability to make them suck. Throw in a heaping scoop of that Southern Georgia heat and humidity and this is downright torturous. Lots of standing around and waiting. Lots of harnesses digging into my crotch. Lots of rearranging “downstairs”. Gallons of sweat. Lots of disgusting CeraSport.
This crap is taste like chalk, mixed with rice flour, mixed with, sand from Iraq. Smells great though. You mix a packet into your canteen and its supposed to hydrate you, if it doesn’t kill you first.
I do have some bad news to report. I have never failed in my life as much as I have in the Army. When it comes to PT, I’m in shape so I excel. I’m mentally pretty sharp, so I do good in Army academic style training, but every once in a while something comes my way that I just can’t conquer.
At Airborne school, its called the Swing Landing Trainer. This 12ft nutcrusher is hell. Literally, the Devil came down to Georgia and perched atop this apparatus.
They are about to push that poor soul off that tower and I’m sure you can imagine what happens next. The idea seems simple, you fall off, you swing, you land gracefully. However, when you’re 6’2 and dense as the earths core, you just kinda fall like a sack of bricks. Not pretty.
So I failed this thing, the first time.
But, a day later I conquered my nemisis. However, I was a day late and a dollar short, and my reward was a whole extra week of Airborne training. YAY!! Not. Its hot as hell down here. Somebody pray for me.
Other than that life’s swell. I here Tiger Woods is sucking pretty bad these days. And… that is literally the extent of real world news that I have received the last two weeks. So yea. Can’t wait to get back to civilization. Somebody send me some emails and tell me whats going on in the world.
Oh, one last random thing. Came across this on the internet today. Normally I’m not a fan of bootleg rap videos, but something about this song made me listen a few times. Its just so damn catchy!
Filed under: Lifestyle, Politics, Race | Tags: Airborne, airplane, army, ass, dc, georgia, Sports
Today, I’m hopping on a plane to Ft. Benning, GA. Jump School starts Monday and I can’t wait. So, the blog will probably be on hold for about three weeks, but I’ll update it when I can. DC Sports fans I’m sorry. But I must leave you in the hands of the Washington Post and the Worldwide Leader. I hope they take care of you. If not I shall be back for vengeance.
Anyway, everybody take care, and do something great for somebody else.’
Filed under: Lifestyle, Politics, Race, Sports | Tags: ass, demarcus cousins, draft, dwight howard, gilbert arenas, gun, john wall, kobe, Lebron, nba, nick young, nra, parade, soldier, strasbrg, Wizards
I’m from the Nations Capital. The epicenter of our nations government. One of the most powerful cities in the world. Capital of the free world. Home to one of the most legendary and most profitable sports franchises in the history of team sports, the Washington Redskins. To say I’m just a Redskins fan is like saying Amy Winehouse is just experimenting with drugs. I bleed the burgundy and gold.
I’m also a part-time Wizard’s fan. The reason I say part-time is because I’m like a part-time worker at a power plant. No benefits, no holidays, no salary, no perks, no 401K, no stock options. Basically, I just get 82 games a year of mediocrity. I go to a few games a season, sit in the nosebleeds, and throw popcorn at strangers. I’m part-time.
However, as a lifelong fan of DC Sports as a whole, I’ve got to say, I am dying for something to read. Every story I read, whether it be from the worldwide leader, dimemag, sbnation, huffingtonpost, washingtonpost, whatever it is, its all recycled garbage. For the last three months every story has been this; the Redskins get Donovan McNabb, they have three old running backs, they want one more, and Albert Haynesworths a dirtbag or; the Wizards get John Wall, he’s really good. Thats about the extent of the sports world in regards to my city. No love for the Caps. No love for DC United. Oh yeah, Stephen Strasburg is really really good. Can’t forget about Lebrasburg.
So I’m here to put my city on my back. We’re going to start off with the Wizards because I feel as though the Wizards are seriously getting overlooked for some reason. Yes the East is gonna be rough. The Fun Bunch in SoBe, the Three Wisemen and Baby Jesus in Bean Town, Dwight and the Dwarfs in Orlando, not to mention the Hawks, Bulls, and dare I say the Knicks…nah won’t go that far….yet. Its going to be a difficult season for the Wiz, but I don’t think there will be many teams as exciting as the Wizards will be to watch.
Also, consider what Chris Paul did for the Hornets. They’re saying based off summer league (I know, I know) that Wall looks like a mix of Rondo and CP, with better handle than Rondo and more size than Paul. The guys a dog. He made Javale McGee look like a 23 year old Shaq playing against toddlers. If Wall gives us a fraction of CP’s rookie production we’ll be set.
Lets take a more indepth look at this. Lets say Gil sticks around, as it look as though he will. Gil slides into his more natural two guard role. So now we have JDub at one and Gil playin combo at the two. Thats an undersized backcourt for sure, but an explosive one. Two ballhandlers and two offensive creators. And both can score their own shots at will.
At the three you start Nick Young. He’s good, not great. Solid perimeter defender, can hit the open look and a solid athlete. However, its the depth here thats amazing. You want to go small ball, you start Josh Howard at the three and go with the three guard look. You want to go big you start Al Thornton or even put Yi Jianlian at the three.
At the four you’ve got the emerging superstar Andray Blatche. Dray showed all the haters last year that he can do more than drink and party at Love the Club every night. I can honestly say, I’ve never been to Love and not seen him there. Never.
But thats besides the point, dude averaged 20 plus after taking over the offense last year. But, Dray’s comming off surgery. He’ll be rusty, probably out of shape knowing him, but by game 20 or so he’ll be good to go. Plus the Wiz got one of the biggest steals of the offseason in Yi, as insurance for Blatche. Yi’s not a dominant player, but the dude can friggin play the game of basketball. He’s averaged right about 10 and 6 his whole career in just 26 minutes of play. Plus he’s another legit seven footer on the roster. He’s going to surprise people.
The five is to me the most intriguing position on the court for the Wizards. We finally shed Brendon Haywood, who was softer than baby food.
Varejo is smiling at this putrid attempt at a punch from a seven foot man. Ugh!
We got rid of my man Etan Thomas, which I was a little torn about. Now we’ve got a bunch of young guys. Javale McGee can straight up hoop. I saw this dude in IKEA back in 08 after he was drafted and the guy is just huge. Plus, he put on some weight this offseason. The guys a better version of Tyson Chandler. Tall, lanky, can development into an outstanding defender, and he’s got loads of athleticism. The guy can jump out the roof. And he has surprisingly decent hands, which is often overlooked by scouts when judging a big man. He truly looked like a man amongst newborns during summer league. I was thoroughly impressed.
However, after him things get a little shaky. You’ve got Hilton Armstrong, who is a poor mans Brendan Haywood, which is not the poor man you want on your team. Hilton doesn’t rebound, block shots, score, or do just about anything well. But, he is seven foot. So, theres always a place for him on somebody’s team. The Wiz also have a very intriguing prospect out of Rutgers, Hamady Ndiaye. Ndiaye is another seven footer with athletic ability. Very raw at this point but could prove to be vital off the bench during the season.
John Wall aside, what excites me most about this years squad is the surprising depth of such a young team. They have talent, youth, and depth at every position on the court.
A few predictions for the season:
Kirk Hinrich will be the sixth man of the year.
Wiz win 45 games and make the playoffs. I would go even higher, but John Wall will hit a rookie wall, no pun intended.
Hilton Armstrong is out of the league by the end of the season.
Earl Boykins will win us three games.
Gil will be an All-Star again.
JDub wins ROY.
Oh yea, I’m still collectin money for the broke soldier foundation, lol.
…im out, like Elton John, no homo…
Filed under: Lifestyle, Politics, Race, Sports | Tags: ass, college, fifa, footbal;, lionel, messi, ronaldhino, ronaldo, sex, soccer, worlducp
Guest post by the one and only Football connoisseur himself, Mr. Avon Jackson. Enjoy.
With the 2010 FIFA World Cup over, the soccer fan in me could not pass up this opportunity to speak my piece on American Futbol (ie. American Soccer). I would like to preface this article by congratulating our US Soccer Team on a tournament well played. The Yanks managed to win our group for the first time in 80 years, which is a monumental achievement, especially in a group with England, and when they had two controversial goals called back on separate occasions. Add to the mix their tendency to allow points in the first 15minutes of the match (3 out of 4) and winning the group becomes an amazing feat!!! My hat is off to you gentleman. Continuing to the purpose of this blog….
I was watching Roberto Martinez break down the US vs Ghana post game the other day and I had an epiphany; US Soccer’s main enemy is American Football. Fewer children play soccer in this country because they play football, a sport non-existent in other nations. Martinez cited an inadequacy in US International soccer as a lack of early recruitment in the lower-class, a level of society know to produce athletes.
Martinez believes in America soccer is a sport reserved for the middle and upperclass children and therefore they can’t be as devoted to bettering their game. I agree to a certain extent but add that more lower class American children would be interested in soccer, if they were not force-fed football. It makes sense children who enjoy one might enjoy the other because both games foundations are similar (running, cutting & tackling on a field).
It’s a fact that in this country football is the promoted outdoor sport of the lower class. If you dont agree with me ride through any American ghetto and see how many pop warner signs you see vs youth soccer ads. This limits the pool of soccer athletes without ever giving children a chance to choose, possibly eliminating all chances of a US born Lionel Messi.
Can we imagine for a second a Brazil with the NFL and a US without? Kaka and Ronaldinho could possibly be All-Pro at quarterback and receiver respectively, while Michael Vick and Chris Johnson would be quite appealing forwards. While this would unquestionably improve our National Soccer team, both of these players were born in the “god watches football – South” and while I could be wrong, I’m pretty sure they didn’t get a fair shot at trying both sports. Had they been given this opportunity however we might have witnessed a shift of power in International soccer worthy of 9.0 on the richter scale.
Now I’m not condemning American Football by any means, I played in college and I’m a diehard Redskins fan. What I am condemning is the American mindset that soccer is not an acceptable sport for the children of all social classes and all nations. Playing soccer is just as respectable and in many markets more profitable than American football. Not to mention that like basketball, it has a much longer field life expectancy for it’s professional and casual athletes, giving us American born “brilliance on the pitch” for years to come.
Filed under: Lifestyle, Politics, Race, Sports | Tags: acrylic, art, ass, ass parade, bangbros, big, Black, butt, buttocks, cherokee, hottentot, jay z, jay z painting, jessica biel, lindsey lohan, neon, painting, politics, pornography, Sports
Because, I’m bored I have scoured the net for my two favorite things, ass and laughter. I present you with both on a shining silver platter. Bon Appetit!
Has anyone ever heard of the Hottentot Venus? As a connoisseur of ze bootay, I’d give these cheeks like a good 7 out of 10. They’ve got size, certainly girth, but no proportion. No shape. Not to mention more potholes than DC streets. A good 7 out of 10.
Next we have our entry into the odd category.
I’m not even sure what to say about this one. I’d be impressed if it were true. Lets assume its undoctored, you’d have to give the guy a 10 out of 10 for effort. I mean that would be impressive, prolly pretty hot and stanky too. Gross.
I love the guy on the rights expressions. He’s thinkin, all she needs is my meat in between those buns. Yeah that was a little gross I know. But, wow, what a apple bottom. That sucker looks like a tear drop from rolling down the cheek of God.
Lindsay Lohan, kinda small for my taste. But not bad shape. She’s got about a two finger smile. For those that aren’t familiar with the finger measuring of booty smile method, let me explain. You take your hand, fingers extended and joined, palms facing upward and you slide them toward the bottom crease of a females behind. On Lindsay here it would be that smiley face about 3 inches below her panty line. Now you place your fingers, extended and joined, right underneath that smiley face. Then you count the number of fingers that the booty covers. If it gets the whole hand, you’ve got yourself a fiver. Lindsay’s about a two.
Now a celeb with an ass. Fantastic behind here.
Her ass is so unbelievable that I’m done typing. Just admire it.
You’ve got the fiver, the double fiver, then you’ve got the I could go to sleep under your ass in the desert and not get sunburned.
Ok, fine. Its too big. There, I said it.
Tara Reid ass.
She’s only 34, and gorgeous from the front. But she needs to put some pants on.
Don’t light firecrackers in your bum.
Save it for the movies.
Whats an Ass post without this stuff.
I was born covered in it.
Cant have an ass post with Cherokee D’ Ass
WOW! I don’t even know where to begin. She’s got double fivers easily. Drooping slightly with age, but overall size, girth, shape, highness, its pretty top notch. Its pretty impressive that she’s able to carry that thing on her back everywhere she goes.
And because I’m not sure ass gets better than this…
…ok last one…
Now, this may have not been my most intellectual post. Maybe not even thought provocating, argument starting, intellectual inspiring, or anything along the lines. But for some reason, I think this will go down as a lot of folks favorite. This was fun. Thats what everybody needs in there life. An excuse to look at ass. For the record J.Lo has a beautiful behind, but Jessica Biel has the nicest ass ever created. Hands down. Shape, four to five finger smile (I’d love to get an accurate measurement), nice and high, tight enough, but not a rock, no lumps, mountains, dingleberry’s or divits, perfect. I just wanna crawl up inside it and take a nap. Ahh, i wish this was a real job.
Oh yea, I’m still collectin money for the broke soldier foundation, lol.