Filed under: Lifestyle, Politics, Race, Sports | Tags: acrylic, art, ass, ass parade, bangbros, big, Black, butt, buttocks, cherokee, hottentot, jay z, jay z painting, jessica biel, lindsey lohan, neon, painting, politics, pornography, Sports
Because, I’m bored I have scoured the net for my two favorite things, ass and laughter. I present you with both on a shining silver platter. Bon Appetit!
Has anyone ever heard of the Hottentot Venus? As a connoisseur of ze bootay, I’d give these cheeks like a good 7 out of 10. They’ve got size, certainly girth, but no proportion. No shape. Not to mention more potholes than DC streets. A good 7 out of 10.
Next we have our entry into the odd category.
I’m not even sure what to say about this one. I’d be impressed if it were true. Lets assume its undoctored, you’d have to give the guy a 10 out of 10 for effort. I mean that would be impressive, prolly pretty hot and stanky too. Gross.
I love the guy on the rights expressions. He’s thinkin, all she needs is my meat in between those buns. Yeah that was a little gross I know. But, wow, what a apple bottom. That sucker looks like a tear drop from rolling down the cheek of God.
Lindsay Lohan, kinda small for my taste. But not bad shape. She’s got about a two finger smile. For those that aren’t familiar with the finger measuring of booty smile method, let me explain. You take your hand, fingers extended and joined, palms facing upward and you slide them toward the bottom crease of a females behind. On Lindsay here it would be that smiley face about 3 inches below her panty line. Now you place your fingers, extended and joined, right underneath that smiley face. Then you count the number of fingers that the booty covers. If it gets the whole hand, you’ve got yourself a fiver. Lindsay’s about a two.
Now a celeb with an ass. Fantastic behind here.
Her ass is so unbelievable that I’m done typing. Just admire it.
You’ve got the fiver, the double fiver, then you’ve got the I could go to sleep under your ass in the desert and not get sunburned.
Ok, fine. Its too big. There, I said it.
Tara Reid ass.
She’s only 34, and gorgeous from the front. But she needs to put some pants on.
Don’t light firecrackers in your bum.
Save it for the movies.
Whats an Ass post without this stuff.
I was born covered in it.
Cant have an ass post with Cherokee D’ Ass
WOW! I don’t even know where to begin. She’s got double fivers easily. Drooping slightly with age, but overall size, girth, shape, highness, its pretty top notch. Its pretty impressive that she’s able to carry that thing on her back everywhere she goes.
And because I’m not sure ass gets better than this…
…ok last one…
Now, this may have not been my most intellectual post. Maybe not even thought provocating, argument starting, intellectual inspiring, or anything along the lines. But for some reason, I think this will go down as a lot of folks favorite. This was fun. Thats what everybody needs in there life. An excuse to look at ass. For the record J.Lo has a beautiful behind, but Jessica Biel has the nicest ass ever created. Hands down. Shape, four to five finger smile (I’d love to get an accurate measurement), nice and high, tight enough, but not a rock, no lumps, mountains, dingleberry’s or divits, perfect. I just wanna crawl up inside it and take a nap. Ahh, i wish this was a real job.
Oh yea, I’m still collectin money for the broke soldier foundation, lol.