Diary of a misEducated Black Man


Gary Coleman Dead, Lakers Win, and Strippers

The Lakers finally put the pesky Suns away last night.  Gary Coleman passed away today.  Oh and did anybody hear, there is a pretty big oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.  More big stories…

…Gotta start with Gary Coleman.  Talk about a guy who got the short end of the straw, no pun intended.  Dead at 42, its a sad day for fans of the child actor.  It seems he was never really able to get on top of things after Diff’rent Strokes.  So, one last time I’mma ask, “What’choo talkin’ bout Willis?”  May he RIP…

..In better news, the Lakers put away the Suns last night.  Gotta be honest I didn’t watch the game, I was uh, lets say preoccupied.  Me and one of my buddies were looking for a little trouble to get into last night, so naturally I called up one of my privates to get a little guidance.  If you want to get in trouble, call a private.  They ought to have a national get in trouble hotline.  He recommended a gentleman’s club called Dreams and I gotta hand it to the kid, I was not disappointed.  El Paso has talent.  Its official…

…Speaking of strip clubs my buddy Palmeiri’s got a great theory on the type of people that frequent them.

You’ve got three types of people that go to strip clubs.  You’ve got the party guy.  The party guy goes to the strip club with a curly blonde wig, a fake gold chain, and he looks like a character out of Grand Theft Auto.  He’s just there to have fun with his other wild buddies. The girls are secondary to him.

You’ve got the regular beer drinking Joe.  This guy goes to the strip club to get drunk with girls that are paid to love him.  He likes the occasional lap dance.  He tips well.  He loves BYOB strip clubs and is usually seen sharing a 30 pack with a few buddies.  Its a great thing.  Most of you all probably fit into this category.

And lastly, you’ve got the creep.  This dude is easily identifiable because he’s alone, he doesn’t tip, and he’d rather look without touching.  He doesn’t drink, he doesn’t smile, and he looks as if he’s taking mental notes on the girls behavioral patterns the whole times he’s there.  Might want to avoid this guy.

…in other news, I refuse to get involved in this Oil disaster nonsense.  This story is huge and the blame game is out of control.  Yesterday the heads started to roll, with the firing of Elizabeth Birnbaum, the head of the Mineral Management Service, the office of the Interior Department responsible for overseeing oil and gas development.  Someone has gotta go, that’s the name of the game…

…isn’t it crazy how words become a part of our vocabulary so quickly because of the media.  Remember the hanging chad.  Now the word is Top Kill.  This process of sealing the oil well leak is now a part of our everyday vernacular.  I find this phenomenon fascinating….

…last but not least, Alicia Keys is pregnant with Swizz Beats baby. Apparently they’re engaged as well. Swizz Beats is one skinny mofo. I’m interested to see how Alicia handles being a stepmom to Swizzy’s other children. Also how does she deal with Swizzy’s ex?

All in all, its a sad day for brothers everywhere, we’re gonna miss you Alicia. I guess it’s time to get over that 9th grade fantasy huh…

So, todays an off day for me.   The best part about the Army is the four day weekend  every month.  And the month of leave every year.   And the half day schedule for most of the month of December.  So, since I’m off, I’m gonna crack open this brew, sit and stew, and politic a bit til the weekends through.   Lata.

…check please…

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